Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in the studio in Cardiff with Mr. Chris Corcoran.

"Dear Rhod, hello, there" says __. or __. ... I never know how to say, __ or __ / I think ... uh ... both are valid, aren't they? / in Jakarta / as far as I know / Indonesia / ジャカルタだとよ。オレの知る限り、ジャカルタはインドネシアにある。 / probably / one / either that, or you have suddenly become an expert on __ B__, Indonesia / pronunciation of, uh, __. / Hey, I heard someone say / on the radio the other day. That's not right, is it? / You ... you heard what? / someone / pronunciation / don't get me on pronunciation / I'm the wor(st) ... I'm terrible / but it's not / wrong / the other day, I / d__ / yeah / there are loads of words I say wrong. / this isn't / for years. This isn't really pronunciation. This is more of ... a kind of ... uh ... I don't know what this is / anybody else / get / for years / years / have I told you this before? / sure / tell you now / you can work it out / OK / now / tell / reverse / this conversation / long time / good understanding / I'm not a psychic / yeah / On the map, ... / Huh huh, / ... the weather map, when they're doing the weather on the television / yeah yeah / well, in my earlier years, I ... it said ... whenever it said "GALES" on the weather map / somebody standing in front of / weather map / on television / G, L ... / __ too hang over for this / gales / oh, yeah yeah yeah / you know that word? / yeah / it's a weather phenomenon / say it / go on / somebody / "gales" behind them / yeah / and this, I would say this stretches over a ten-year period / huh huh / I would say I was in my mid-twenty's when this stopped happening. / Right. / I would look at that map and go, "Why does it say Wales in Spanish on that map? " ... which is "Gales". / なぜ「ウェールズ」をスペイン語で表記するんだろう ... / Wow. ... / so, you'd be watching ... I don't know / it was / equivalent of / Michael / something like that / why / say / Spanish on the map / even over Wales / over Scotland / しかもウェールズだけでなくスコットランドも Gales って ... / that happened for about ten years / I just / suddenly / hang on a minute. ... It's "gales", isn't it? / that / unpredictable brain mixed with a very educated brain at the same time / you know / educated / language / part of your brain / and the other part / all the time / often discribe it as a dropped hose. / Yeah. / Isn't that weird? / I can understand / maybe / maybe / maybe I've got some / not wishing, in any way, to belittle this / maybe I've got some kind of dyslexia, some kind of / Yeah, possibly. / about my, uh, possible, potential dyslexia / Yeah? / again, I'm not wishing to __ __ __ ... this isn't / いえ、決して失読症のことを軽く考えているわけではありませんよ ... / I think I've got / on faces / did I tell you this / Greg Davies / some people in the world ... / who I cannot recognize when I see them / mention their names / nice to meet you / I'm Rhod / we've met / have we? / I cannot recognize you / I do not recognize you as that person / picture / this week / paper / again / of, um / yes / and I would say __ __ last ten times / the picture / oh, who's that / I haven't / I cannot / put / their features together / I __ facial-dyslexia. / Wow. ... If / picture / I would have no idea / talking about / the only reason / know / look at that face / know / maybe it's ... maybe it's true / either that / or / keep meeting / I can't recognize them.

Now, listen / big feature I've got. ... I woke up this morning 8: / right / the dog woke me up / and, uh ... anyway ... / ... Yeah, go on. / This feature I thought ... on, uh ... you ... you have a slight hangover today. / Hmm. / I, uh ... / a bit of a feature / this show / sort of weekend man / what would you expect? ... I was / sociable / we / sociable people / talking about my, uh, strange, a, sort of, almost, form of dyslexia ... without belittling that, uh, infliction / when I used to look at the weather map in the old days / gales / I always thought / why does it say Wales in Spanish, which is "Gales", on that map? / just doesn't say / everywhere / says / Wales, Wales, Wales, Wales, all over that weather map in Spanish / ten years / I couldn't work that out as a teenager / just / I / never really / find out the answer / isn't that weird? / ask anyone at all? / even __ your closest confi__ / No. / right / didn't even discuss it / Did you have / closest / weirdo I am / right. Anyway / and then, __, our producer, new producer / during / tracks / came __ our ears / she said, ... uh ... / "You know, that, uh, thing you were saying about __ weather map / Gales / she said / I only just found out that / when they say / outgoing prime minister / outgoing first minister / they're leaving office / she just thought / really sociable / 「outgoing」首相は付き合いのいい人なんだろうと思っていた / outgoing First Minister __ M__ / quite / he looks friendly, / does he / laugh / giggle / coffee with him / outgoing / anyway ... so, this feature ... this feature / launch, Korkey, / point of it is / hangover / talking of Spain, / I ... I have some friends over / is / part of the feature / I don't know, ... Wednesday ... Thursday? / not / weekend / not / weekend / a few days ago / sure / a few days ago / we were all ... / a bit of a mission ... wine-wise. / huh huh. huh huh. / and, I went / about four, / As one does. / As one does. / Yes? / and, the next day, I had the largest hangover / I think, probably / anyone in the world over the last 20 years / your ... your / possibly the largest hangover / before that would have been / something like / Berlin Wall came down / someone / came / down / celebrating / おそらくあれよりひどい二日酔いは、ベルリンの壁崩壊を祝って飲んだとか、それくらいのものだろう / I had / the worst / I didn't leave my bed until ... / not / following day. The day after that. / Wow. / Wow. / this is / the next day, all I was capable of / only because I had to / dog out / toilet / that was it / I didn't have a glass of water. / Gracious me. / That's hangover / that is hangover / no food, __ __ ... and then, in the middle of the night, the following night ... / Huh, / so, this is about 24 hours later, I started to feel better / yeah? / woke up a bit / dozing a bit / I thought / "I think I'm through it." / Yeah? / And I cried a little tear of joy. That was / through the hangover / feel / better / little tear / just / oh my god / I promise you, Lord, whoever there is, / worship / to pray / if you keep me feeling like this, Lord, I will never ever touch a drop of (that) wine again /　オレは歓喜の涙を流したよ。神様ありがとう。いつもこんな気分でいさせてくれるなら、今後私は酒など一滴も口にしません。 / anything / ふーん。じゃ、飲んでないんだ？ / yeah, last night I had ... a bit / いや、昨日ちょっとだけ飲んだが .... とにかく、みんなの「小さくて取るに足らないが世界一の幸せ」が聞きたい。 / but that was / I thought / in that moment ... in that moment, / thought / is that the best feeling there is in the world? / getting over a hangover? / and then I thought / radio / really hangover / come__ through it / go, "I'm over it. I'm OK again. / I'm well / OK / best feeling in the world / I thought / people / no, Rhod, you know, I ... / I was very very ill / better / of course that's a bigger feeling / thirsty / all right / the best tiny little feeling in the world / my / long-time podcast listener, first-time emailer, and live listener" Righto, __ __. Thanks for the detail / best / put on a jacket / this is a good one / jacket / find a fiver or __ __ tenner / in / pocket / this happened to me this morning. Time for a little treat / ラッキー。何買おうかな。 / that / good one / that is a good tiny little ... / 7 / on a Saturday / going back to sleep / I'm not sure / take / really / get back to sleep / exactly / worry me / no __ __ __ __ __ as a French would say. Uh ... / the best feeling ... / the best tiny feeling in the world according to me / putting on brand-new slippers / おろしたてのスリッパに一番最初に足を入れるときの感じがたまらないです。あの感触は、二回目以降はもう味わえません。 / most cozy __ that first time. It's never the same again." How disgusting __ your feet? / instantly soil a slipper? ... I've got / cozy / sure / although / about it. / 一回履いただけでダメになるとは。お前の足はどれだけ汚いんだ？オレは同じスリッパを一ヶ月くらい履いても、毎回心地いいぞ。... まてよ ... お前の言うことももっともな気がしてきた。

general / dear / turning 40 on Sunday. I was wondering / podcast / make my day / from / that's the one / J__ in Indonesia / started reading your email / an hour and __ minutes ago. And then / finished / for a bit / Happy birthday. / Happy birthday. Uh ... / I think this is about / I think / I / never / she / memorizing her face to test my recognition abilities / but it's no good / up / road / Cardiff studios / Here you go. / apparently / that is interesting" says Jono in Portsmouth / I was about ... just about / presume / just / at the start of the show / wondered / for a while / I am dyslexic / talk about similar / do / maybe / enjoy / still enjoy ... still enjoying the show very much / それに気づいた今も、引き続きとても楽しんでいます。 / know / tested / 68 / tested / back in those days / days / I don't think / spelling / certainly not great / certain things / certainly, uh, has difficulty recognizing / cultural dyslexia / in Spanish / instead of English / Yeah. This is / diagnosis / self-diagnosis / I don't know what it is / Hi Rhod, there's a name / what / boom / hi / name / condition / recognize faces / Yeah? / It's called prosopagnosia / それは「相貌失認」と呼ばれる症状です / that's from Susan / Wow. / think / I might have a ... a little bit of prosopragnosia at most. / よかった。失読症じゃなかった。ちょっとばかり相貌失認をわずらってるだけさ。

non-story / I've spotted / choose / you / first one / I rarely shower / not very often / I thought that's a pretty good ... uh ... / pretty good / candidate / non-story / shower / down / like, uh ... it's / something to do with / saving / perfectly good story / and also / there was an action there / would / consequence / relevant to an extent / ある程度意味のある行動といわざるをえない / absolutely / I should never have circled it / そのとおりだ。この記事にマルをつけたオレはどうかしていた。 / feel like / what / this / Chris Martin" ... who / recently / broken / interesting / couple / what / phrase / I didn't ... I didn't think anything / my / perfect blank / it was like a space / read / anyway / page / devoted / page / Chris Martin / sorry / struck up / friendship / TV host, A__ C__ / right / do you know why? / story / whole / is / am / says / they enjoyed __ late night milkshake / Wow / pretty rockn' roll / most relationships start with that / so / served the pair the milkshake / says / turned / my friend / what would you recommend / like / I did find it a little odd / uh / milkshake / know / other place / I'll tell you what / thinning out / interest / after two pages / quite funny / was / I'll level with you / my / non / here's another one. "C__ D__ / I've fancied women / here we are / that's worth a page, I think / which / those / utter waste of time / do you want / OK, mate.

more from the newspapers, Korkey / goats / "Goats ..." says here, / huh huh, / smarter than you think / smart / where / reputation for not being the brightest / I wouldn't say that / eating and b__ing / goats have a reputation for not being / farmyard / well, horses / No. / and the owls / collies, horses ... / pretty sharp / they're sharper than horses, aren't they? / pretty / as / let's put / No. I ... you can't / do / horses / look after themselves / in that case / t__ / the brightest / stupidest ones / it depends / think / doing stuff / doing / human being / you think / so clever / just go / there you go. Get out of it / yeah / having / understand it / I think / I think / here / smarter / sharper than a horse / All right / chickens / Yes, I would / chickens / farmyard / down there / are they stupid? / the stupidest / stand on / not / BBC / not / BBC / chikens are the stupidest, correct? / cows are pretty stupid / think / cute / cow / smarter / OK. So, it's ... / chikens / it's sheepdog, horse, ... cow, chicken / yeah / where would you / goat in that? / well, one above chicken / cow / definitely / yeah / sheepdog, horse, goat, cow, chicken / hang on / top / top in 1984 / 一番頭がいいのは豚だ。ジョージ・オーウェルの『1984』を読めばわかる。 / yeah / George Orwell / cleverer than / apparently they are / human / babe / pig / are / top / sheep / sheep / one / goat / cow, chicken / goats / says here. ... Oh, hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. / pig, sheepdog / goat / agreed / rock / except / other stuff / farms / aren't they? Ducks? / incidental / farm / aren't they? Ducks? / sort / pond / over the left / ... Right. Anyway, / time / re-think / age / obvious list / obvious list / reputation / brightest / farmyard / they learn fast / quicker / than ... / ... Here we go. ... / ... chimps. / chimps won't even / even in / list / quicker / do / goats / says / trained goats / thing / well, excuse me / University / Oh, sorry. They "trained" goats / such a thing as "trained goats" / worth / trained / do / trained / to use a two-step / process / to retrieve a pasta treat / encased in a plastic box / something to get at something / old squirrel thing / natural q__. / treat / that's why, innit? / Yeah. But it's just so off the scale / every day / I'd rather ... if you / if you / put intelligence test / me / encourage / in it / just / put / everyday meal / beans / bother / first, the animal / use / grab / lever, then / to nudge the lever / release the pasta / Yeah? / so, goats / revisit this / deal / do the same experiment / in our list, / ほかの動物にも同じテストを施したというのでなければ、山羊の知性の高さを証明する科学的な根拠とみなすわけにはいかない。/ 'cause otherwise / let / ducks / I hear you. Let me / down / they haven't done it / ridiculous / scientific experiment / groundless / new / which / more intelligent / chimps / I've got a new feature / guess / goat / it's on. Goat Quiz is on. / 山羊がチンパンジーより賢いというなら、アレをやらねばなるまい。

goat / ladies / goat / Great. / facts / listen, during / there / this show's picked up / radio / this is / radio / Goat Quiz / about / this / first / how / eight / wow / all my quizes are / out / magic number / オレが作るクイズはすべて全８問だということを覚えておいてくれ / one / in front of me / production / headed "Goats" / and I'm gonna make a quiz out of it / goat / clock / how many / uh / nearest / million / Buzzz / 450 / goats / pretty / close / really / 85 million goats out / infinitely / only if you said "none" / mean / on the spectrum / infinite statistics / close / million / out / of infinity / within / bad / percentage / million out / quite a lot / good / suggest / Fair enough. I accept. Do I get a point at all? / out / half a point / being within / point / or / tough start, Rhod / give me an easy one / goats have very sensitive what? / teeth / No. / let me think / give you that / as / one / came / OK. ... Emotions / no / are very sensitive / OK / I'm not saying / complain / sensitive / I got it. I got this / hooves / sensitive / practically / craggy outcrop / good / quite a good answer, though. / another / last / sensitive foot standing on / unsensitive foot / insensitive / standing / be / your feet / don't / vertical cliffs / for a while / see / skin / more / B / cliff / want / want / bare feet / I don't think / climb / standing at / 90 degree / perpendicular / lips / every animal's got sensitive lips / stupid / lips / sensitive or not? / Uh .... not ... not sensitive / not especially sensitive / tell / age of a goat / no / all / hang / yes / it / Of course it is. / kids / front jaw / baby teeth / replaced / permanent / by their teeth / back / one out of three / tough / give me an easy one. / OK. / right / male / goat / goat / without lifting up their tail / Oh, right, OK. ... Uh ... / little beards / on their chins / Boom? / yeah / Yes / give you / come on / six, seven and eight in one question. You / each correct answer / total score out of eight / all right / depending on / breed / goats may be one of four colors / OK / white / Buzzzz. One point / black / white / seen / black / one / as a baby / yes / cross breeds / standard / fine / black / white / in case / goat / standard breeds / brown / three points / one / go / you are now on / five out of seven / right / seven / this / one more / I can see that / head in your hands, for a start / seriously / either cream / or grey / I'm torn between cream and grey / oh / six out of eight. Cream is / four / color / so much / animals / six

I just realized / couple / something / paper / put / facial / in a circle / go along. / apparently / look at that / totally / apology / it's not her at all.

whole show / 11 till 1.

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Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits エピソード・リスト